Wednesday, December 30, 2009

today is 30/12/2009
tomorrow is 31/12/2009

before the 2009 end and move to 2010
i hope i can have a reflect on everything that happened before this second

before this year end, i had enjoyed my 21th bday with a man that i know from my summer holiday.
i think when the time i know him is the most memorable and happy time..
that time,i'm having my 1st 4mths holiday..
at the same time, he accompany me go thru the tough time also..
summer holiday, nothing can do, but have fun, clubbing and work for freelance
fast money come in and money also go out as fast as possible..
haha..i still can laugh..this year..alot of thing had happened..
friendship broken in the beginning of the year b4 my summer holiday
grandpa sick till i cry and worried during my holiday
but he has covered now..i was so happy ..whole family getting union
relationship between family are getting closer and closer..
but my personal life getting complicated day after day because of just let it be..
actually the relationship also not that complicated..
we just do not have a position and clear cut to represent it..
but nevermind, because both of us are happy in this
for this question ' what is our relationship'
i think both of us have no idea and we hope to continue like this
continue like this untill when we are not suitable or else we will just continue like this
but i have no idea what would happen in future
so..to make me feel easy happy..dont think about this anymore

watching a drama named 斗鱼 make me remind back my previous relationship
sometime i thought i will regret but i knnow why no matter how many times i said i regret
actually indeed of my heart, i never regret the decision i make for him
although now, we are no longer be together but he will still be the one i love the most
i choose to leave him
i choose to lie on myself
i choose to hurt him
i choose to left him alone
i choose to be alone
i choose to forget the one i love the most

whatever decision i choosen just for give myself a better life
i was so selfish...but i still on going
the one i love the most and the one i having
is totally different life

i think i do have a difficulty in totally fall into someone
so now, my heart still empty, my life still empty when i was alone
besides study, i can only study and study
i left the one i love the most, choose to be student before i cant go back to my original life
for so long i never meet him..for so long i still remember the past
but i know i never regret for everything i choose to be......

december..is a happy and happening month
my bday-12/12
my fren...she is my best fren
alot of thing happened on my fren
whatever i can do..i will do
but i know i can only pray for them..

time pass like fly..after 365days from now...from this second..
hope i will look back..and learn from every mistake

Sunday, December 27, 2009

脚步不一致 无计可施

当两个人相爱相惜 脚步一致
什么事情都可以解决
什么问题都不需要担心
两个人不会有问题
两个人不会变仇人
相爱的两个人 什么事都有商有量
当事情发生时 会互相关心互相扶持

相反的
当爱情变成一个人的事 脚步变得不一致
想法 意见 关心 在乎 当初的爱 慢慢的改变与消失
事情变得一发不可收拾
事情无法解决 情人变成仇人
曾经相爱的人 眼里不再有甜蜜 反而却多了怨恨
无辜的 就是互相伤害的两个人
同时连消带打的 伤害爱他们的人

如果爱情会变质 那为什么还要在一起呢?
如果你会选择伤害她,那为什么你要爱她?
如果你不能全心全意地爱她,那就不要给她承诺!
当他为了家 放弃一生
你的回报却是让双方都受伤

什么方法可以让相爱的两个人不会互相伤害?

Thursday, December 24, 2009

x'mas is coming..countdown by hourly...left about 7hr++
yohooo....everything goes smoothly..me as well as my ul
for me, i need money money money...$$$$
have to earn some money before next semester
for tuition fees...for formal clothes...for prepare my phone funeral
my phone getting insane recently...sometime good sometime bad...
to avoid i will live without phone..i better prepare some money for my phone funeral
i know is nt that good because my phone still alive..but my phone ady services me for 5 yrs lol..
if it wana break and retirement..i cant do anything ady..
somemore it is a limited edition for current..

today morning, i went to college..although nt many student, but i can still feel the x'mas and holiday mood..wohoooo!!!
everyone greeting to everyone!!!so peaceful...i love this scene


opsssshhh!!!stomachache...this is the 2nd day liao...once i ate then i have to run toilet for 2-3times...yarkss!!!i should stop typing this ugly stuff ..
anyway!!!merry x'mas to everyone!!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

love is the most worthy in life!

today i went for the princess and the frog..
this movie is different than normal and traditional fairy tale story
normal fairy tale give everyone a dream and make you expect irrealisticly..
however not for this fairy tale story
this movie showed the reality and the desire of a human can make them 4got about the most important thing in their life..which is love..

nowadays everyone will just go for their expected life
therefore they leave love away from them
but if they never recover the most important 'love' in their life
even they have been successful, they will not feel the maximum happinese

so this movie telling us that no matter how successful we are
without love you are alone
no matter how rich you are
without your love you will never feel the most happinese in your life

**dont 4get to find your love

Sunday, December 13, 2009

原来!

我一直以为 之所以以为
原来都不是那么的一回事

我的过去 让我不容易接受爱情
可我却可以让身边的人 感觉到爱情
可能这就是我的本能吧!

要是没读到我老姐的blog。。
我还是会当作什么事都收得好好的
原来全家人都知道 我把爱情丢了
他们不问 不代表他们不知道
可能现在我所处在的情况 他们也是一清二楚
原来 我的家人可以比卫星还要卫星

姐姐 说:“一天被蛇咬,十年怕草绳”
i think she was right!! i do right now..
shulin 让我把关系搞清楚
可我却一再的退缩
我需要更多的时间 去让自己相信他会是那个对我好的人
我有好多话想对他说 可我却没说出口
我用了“谢谢”
曾经有那么一霎那 让我不自觉地好爱好爱他!!

Friday, December 11, 2009

21st bday!!

today was so surprisingly..
i never expect this will happened on me..
haha!!(V)

happy birthday to myself!!i'm age 21 ..wohooo...
i dont want to mention the years XXX...it doesnt sound good to me

12/12/2009
In the 20hours++ ago...
i was finished sending my UL out of my house..
then i went for a bath bcz i'm gonna hanged out with my group of frenz..
when i step out from my bath room..OMG!!my room was locked..huhu!!!
when i was thinking to get the spare key, the door OPEN!!OMG!!
then.....Happy bday song was singing by VIVI, BING,LIN,RACHEL,n CHIAT..
OMG!!i have nth inside and the pics was taken by them and...video clip as well...
it was so surprise for me..i cant take it...i need to calm down for a minute...

here i want to thanks all of you...bcz of u all, i having such a good and memorable bday!!
i love you all..and the whole day you all had spent with me..i'm totally in love to u all...

10am..i woke up so early jz bcz i cant sleep well
too excited or too disappointed..
UL cant accompany me till afternoon..i was thought he will find me at 3pm..
so i decide meet with munmun
how i knw....he suddenly find me at 130pm
mun mun, me and him...we went for lunch and Timesquare..
i was so emotional...bcz i dont know what i want...
he have no bday present for me bcz he dont knw what to buy.
no shoes, no wallet, no watch.."he is a spiritual person"...
he keep asked me what i want...but i really want he think simple and easy to make me happy
we spent (waste) time till 7pm sth...i was so sleepy..
we went back each other home..
i can only rest one hour...bcz me n UL will sing k at 10 pm..

totally spent within 500...omg..!!
i will prefer jz me n him go eat korean bbq then watch a mv ...
that all..
i dont want to spend so much in my bday..!
although all paid by him...(T.T)

13/12/2009
we woke up at 3pm...omg..we sleep whole day...
i feel wind wind in my head..
this is not a good day..bcz i have no idea..what is in my mind...
emo emo emoo..
izzit period near by?
huhu..i awes emo when the date coming..
its doesnt mean good, bcz i will screw ppl when i m emo-ing..

Saturday, December 5, 2009

i wish i can...

i wish i can do something..
i wish i can have a happy life
i wish i can have you with me now
i wish i can dont feel bored
i wish i can be strong
i wish i can be success
i wish i can have a memorable 21st bday
i wish i can have a free life
i wish i can have a direction
i wish i can walk on the right way
i wish i can type out my mind
i wish i can smile
i wish i can have meaningful day
i wish i can help everyone
i wish i can help myself out
i wish i can live out of the box
i wish i can earn my own money
i wish i can be stable
i wish i can concentrate
i wish i can stay the same
i wish i can hug you whenever i wish
i wish i can give my family a stable and easy life
i wish i can reduce all my parent burden
i wish i can do something whenever i feel lost
i wish i can stop losing myself
i wish i can be a nice gal
i wish i can have all my wish come true
i wish i can...

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

i'm just no that into him??起头

i'm just no that into him??
是这样子吗?我的心?
刚刚和ben聊电话 谈完学业 谈私事
他有他的故事 我也有我的
听完我的 他告诉我 我并不知道我要的是什么
而我对我的他 到底又存在着什么心态呢?
只是需要一个向男朋友的朋友?
还是我需要一个真正的男朋友?

今天 和他吃完午饭后
我选择不去上课 pendrive不见了
最近一直不见东不见西 好难过
到底我是怎么了?
他陪我呆在家
原本打算去看戏的
可想要的 往往不如我所愿
可恶 为什么只看你想看的?
这是我闹脾气的原因
可他竟然 还知道不公平
最后他答应和我去看 可是我自己放弃
剩下不多时间 我们睡个午觉吧!
我知道你很累了 也不多时间陪我

我问他 你每天都无所事事吗?
酱过日子好吗?
他:那你想我去当上班族?
不是酱说 可是你却好像没事做

我怎么会问这么笨的问题?
他明明就有工作 只是时间和别人不同
我是怎么了??!!

今天读了raine的blog
我期待着你把我放进心里
那我期待吗?我不知道
应该会吧!每个女孩都会
我会是他们之中的吗?

我也问了 抱着‘顺其自然’的两个人
会有结果吗?会是什么结果?
我们两个 到底是想怎样?
会不会永远都不了?
看不到前方的道路 我们还要继续走吗?
莫名其妙的我们 后悔吗?
你呢?我呢?
我们暂时没有答案
所以关心我的朋友
以下是我回答不了的问题:-
你们是什么关系?
他是干什么的?
你对他是什么心态?什么感觉?他对你呢?
你们应该是男女朋友吧?
你喜欢他?他喜欢你?
。。。。。等等
有太多太多我回答不了的问题

我相信他一个人也给不了答案
让我们俩 想想吧!
可能那一天我会给大家一个答案