Wednesday, December 30, 2009

today is 30/12/2009
tomorrow is 31/12/2009

before the 2009 end and move to 2010
i hope i can have a reflect on everything that happened before this second

before this year end, i had enjoyed my 21th bday with a man that i know from my summer holiday.
i think when the time i know him is the most memorable and happy time..
that time,i'm having my 1st 4mths holiday..
at the same time, he accompany me go thru the tough time also..
summer holiday, nothing can do, but have fun, clubbing and work for freelance
fast money come in and money also go out as fast as possible..
haha..i still can laugh..this year..alot of thing had happened..
friendship broken in the beginning of the year b4 my summer holiday
grandpa sick till i cry and worried during my holiday
but he has covered now..i was so happy ..whole family getting union
relationship between family are getting closer and closer..
but my personal life getting complicated day after day because of just let it be..
actually the relationship also not that complicated..
we just do not have a position and clear cut to represent it..
but nevermind, because both of us are happy in this
for this question ' what is our relationship'
i think both of us have no idea and we hope to continue like this
continue like this untill when we are not suitable or else we will just continue like this
but i have no idea what would happen in future make me feel easy happy..dont think about this anymore

watching a drama named 斗鱼 make me remind back my previous relationship
sometime i thought i will regret but i knnow why no matter how many times i said i regret
actually indeed of my heart, i never regret the decision i make for him
although now, we are no longer be together but he will still be the one i love the most
i choose to leave him
i choose to lie on myself
i choose to hurt him
i choose to left him alone
i choose to be alone
i choose to forget the one i love the most

whatever decision i choosen just for give myself a better life
i was so selfish...but i still on going
the one i love the most and the one i having
is totally different life

i think i do have a difficulty in totally fall into someone
so now, my heart still empty, my life still empty when i was alone
besides study, i can only study and study
i left the one i love the most, choose to be student before i cant go back to my original life
for so long i never meet him..for so long i still remember the past
but i know i never regret for everything i choose to be...... a happy and happening month
my bday-12/12
my fren...she is my best fren
alot of thing happened on my fren
whatever i can do..i will do
but i know i can only pray for them..

time pass like fly..after 365days from now...from this second..
hope i will look back..and learn from every mistake

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