Wednesday, December 30, 2009

today is 30/12/2009
tomorrow is 31/12/2009

before the 2009 end and move to 2010
i hope i can have a reflect on everything that happened before this second

before this year end, i had enjoyed my 21th bday with a man that i know from my summer holiday.
i think when the time i know him is the most memorable and happy time..
that time,i'm having my 1st 4mths holiday..
at the same time, he accompany me go thru the tough time also..
summer holiday, nothing can do, but have fun, clubbing and work for freelance
fast money come in and money also go out as fast as possible..
haha..i still can laugh..this year..alot of thing had happened..
friendship broken in the beginning of the year b4 my summer holiday
grandpa sick till i cry and worried during my holiday
but he has covered now..i was so happy ..whole family getting union
relationship between family are getting closer and closer..
but my personal life getting complicated day after day because of just let it be..
actually the relationship also not that complicated..
we just do not have a position and clear cut to represent it..
but nevermind, because both of us are happy in this
for this question ' what is our relationship'
i think both of us have no idea and we hope to continue like this
continue like this untill when we are not suitable or else we will just continue like this
but i have no idea what would happen in future
so..to make me feel easy happy..dont think about this anymore

watching a drama named 斗鱼 make me remind back my previous relationship
sometime i thought i will regret but i knnow why no matter how many times i said i regret
actually indeed of my heart, i never regret the decision i make for him
although now, we are no longer be together but he will still be the one i love the most
i choose to leave him
i choose to lie on myself
i choose to hurt him
i choose to left him alone
i choose to be alone
i choose to forget the one i love the most

whatever decision i choosen just for give myself a better life
i was so selfish...but i still on going
the one i love the most and the one i having
is totally different life

i think i do have a difficulty in totally fall into someone
so now, my heart still empty, my life still empty when i was alone
besides study, i can only study and study
i left the one i love the most, choose to be student before i cant go back to my original life
for so long i never meet him..for so long i still remember the past
but i know i never regret for everything i choose to be......

december..is a happy and happening month
my bday-12/12
my fren...she is my best fren
alot of thing happened on my fren
whatever i can do..i will do
but i know i can only pray for them..

time pass like fly..after 365days from now...from this second..
hope i will look back..and learn from every mistake

Sunday, December 27, 2009

脚步不一致 无计可施

当两个人相爱相惜 脚步一致
什么事情都可以解决
什么问题都不需要担心
两个人不会有问题
两个人不会变仇人
相爱的两个人 什么事都有商有量
当事情发生时 会互相关心互相扶持

相反的
当爱情变成一个人的事 脚步变得不一致
想法 意见 关心 在乎 当初的爱 慢慢的改变与消失
事情变得一发不可收拾
事情无法解决 情人变成仇人
曾经相爱的人 眼里不再有甜蜜 反而却多了怨恨
无辜的 就是互相伤害的两个人
同时连消带打的 伤害爱他们的人

如果爱情会变质 那为什么还要在一起呢?
如果你会选择伤害她,那为什么你要爱她?
如果你不能全心全意地爱她,那就不要给她承诺!
当他为了家 放弃一生
你的回报却是让双方都受伤

什么方法可以让相爱的两个人不会互相伤害?

Thursday, December 24, 2009

x'mas is coming..countdown by hourly...left about 7hr++
yohooo....everything goes smoothly..me as well as my ul
for me, i need money money money...$$$$
have to earn some money before next semester
for tuition fees...for formal clothes...for prepare my phone funeral
my phone getting insane recently...sometime good sometime bad...
to avoid i will live without phone..i better prepare some money for my phone funeral
i know is nt that good because my phone still alive..but my phone ady services me for 5 yrs lol..
if it wana break and retirement..i cant do anything ady..
somemore it is a limited edition for current..

today morning, i went to college..although nt many student, but i can still feel the x'mas and holiday mood..wohoooo!!!
everyone greeting to everyone!!!so peaceful...i love this scene


opsssshhh!!!stomachache...this is the 2nd day liao...once i ate then i have to run toilet for 2-3times...yarkss!!!i should stop typing this ugly stuff ..
anyway!!!merry x'mas to everyone!!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

love is the most worthy in life!

today i went for the princess and the frog..
this movie is different than normal and traditional fairy tale story
normal fairy tale give everyone a dream and make you expect irrealisticly..
however not for this fairy tale story
this movie showed the reality and the desire of a human can make them 4got about the most important thing in their life..which is love..

nowadays everyone will just go for their expected life
therefore they leave love away from them
but if they never recover the most important 'love' in their life
even they have been successful, they will not feel the maximum happinese

so this movie telling us that no matter how successful we are
without love you are alone
no matter how rich you are
without your love you will never feel the most happinese in your life

**dont 4get to find your love

Sunday, December 13, 2009

原来!

我一直以为 之所以以为
原来都不是那么的一回事

我的过去 让我不容易接受爱情
可我却可以让身边的人 感觉到爱情
可能这就是我的本能吧!

要是没读到我老姐的blog。。
我还是会当作什么事都收得好好的
原来全家人都知道 我把爱情丢了
他们不问 不代表他们不知道
可能现在我所处在的情况 他们也是一清二楚
原来 我的家人可以比卫星还要卫星

姐姐 说:“一天被蛇咬,十年怕草绳”
i think she was right!! i do right now..
shulin 让我把关系搞清楚
可我却一再的退缩
我需要更多的时间 去让自己相信他会是那个对我好的人
我有好多话想对他说 可我却没说出口
我用了“谢谢”
曾经有那么一霎那 让我不自觉地好爱好爱他!!

Friday, December 11, 2009

21st bday!!

today was so surprisingly..
i never expect this will happened on me..
haha!!(V)

happy birthday to myself!!i'm age 21 ..wohooo...
i dont want to mention the years XXX...it doesnt sound good to me

12/12/2009
In the 20hours++ ago...
i was finished sending my UL out of my house..
then i went for a bath bcz i'm gonna hanged out with my group of frenz..
when i step out from my bath room..OMG!!my room was locked..huhu!!!
when i was thinking to get the spare key, the door OPEN!!OMG!!
then.....Happy bday song was singing by VIVI, BING,LIN,RACHEL,n CHIAT..
OMG!!i have nth inside and the pics was taken by them and...video clip as well...
it was so surprise for me..i cant take it...i need to calm down for a minute...

here i want to thanks all of you...bcz of u all, i having such a good and memorable bday!!
i love you all..and the whole day you all had spent with me..i'm totally in love to u all...

10am..i woke up so early jz bcz i cant sleep well
too excited or too disappointed..
UL cant accompany me till afternoon..i was thought he will find me at 3pm..
so i decide meet with munmun
how i knw....he suddenly find me at 130pm
mun mun, me and him...we went for lunch and Timesquare..
i was so emotional...bcz i dont know what i want...
he have no bday present for me bcz he dont knw what to buy.
no shoes, no wallet, no watch.."he is a spiritual person"...
he keep asked me what i want...but i really want he think simple and easy to make me happy
we spent (waste) time till 7pm sth...i was so sleepy..
we went back each other home..
i can only rest one hour...bcz me n UL will sing k at 10 pm..

totally spent within 500...omg..!!
i will prefer jz me n him go eat korean bbq then watch a mv ...
that all..
i dont want to spend so much in my bday..!
although all paid by him...(T.T)

13/12/2009
we woke up at 3pm...omg..we sleep whole day...
i feel wind wind in my head..
this is not a good day..bcz i have no idea..what is in my mind...
emo emo emoo..
izzit period near by?
huhu..i awes emo when the date coming..
its doesnt mean good, bcz i will screw ppl when i m emo-ing..

Saturday, December 5, 2009

i wish i can...

i wish i can do something..
i wish i can have a happy life
i wish i can have you with me now
i wish i can dont feel bored
i wish i can be strong
i wish i can be success
i wish i can have a memorable 21st bday
i wish i can have a free life
i wish i can have a direction
i wish i can walk on the right way
i wish i can type out my mind
i wish i can smile
i wish i can have meaningful day
i wish i can help everyone
i wish i can help myself out
i wish i can live out of the box
i wish i can earn my own money
i wish i can be stable
i wish i can concentrate
i wish i can stay the same
i wish i can hug you whenever i wish
i wish i can give my family a stable and easy life
i wish i can reduce all my parent burden
i wish i can do something whenever i feel lost
i wish i can stop losing myself
i wish i can be a nice gal
i wish i can have all my wish come true
i wish i can...

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

i'm just no that into him??起头

i'm just no that into him??
是这样子吗?我的心?
刚刚和ben聊电话 谈完学业 谈私事
他有他的故事 我也有我的
听完我的 他告诉我 我并不知道我要的是什么
而我对我的他 到底又存在着什么心态呢?
只是需要一个向男朋友的朋友?
还是我需要一个真正的男朋友?

今天 和他吃完午饭后
我选择不去上课 pendrive不见了
最近一直不见东不见西 好难过
到底我是怎么了?
他陪我呆在家
原本打算去看戏的
可想要的 往往不如我所愿
可恶 为什么只看你想看的?
这是我闹脾气的原因
可他竟然 还知道不公平
最后他答应和我去看 可是我自己放弃
剩下不多时间 我们睡个午觉吧!
我知道你很累了 也不多时间陪我

我问他 你每天都无所事事吗?
酱过日子好吗?
他:那你想我去当上班族?
不是酱说 可是你却好像没事做

我怎么会问这么笨的问题?
他明明就有工作 只是时间和别人不同
我是怎么了??!!

今天读了raine的blog
我期待着你把我放进心里
那我期待吗?我不知道
应该会吧!每个女孩都会
我会是他们之中的吗?

我也问了 抱着‘顺其自然’的两个人
会有结果吗?会是什么结果?
我们两个 到底是想怎样?
会不会永远都不了?
看不到前方的道路 我们还要继续走吗?
莫名其妙的我们 后悔吗?
你呢?我呢?
我们暂时没有答案
所以关心我的朋友
以下是我回答不了的问题:-
你们是什么关系?
他是干什么的?
你对他是什么心态?什么感觉?他对你呢?
你们应该是男女朋友吧?
你喜欢他?他喜欢你?
。。。。。等等
有太多太多我回答不了的问题

我相信他一个人也给不了答案
让我们俩 想想吧!
可能那一天我会给大家一个答案

Saturday, November 21, 2009

一个星期了!

电脑被偷一个星期了
现在的我 对我的功课学业 不知所措
心情就像海浪一样 一波未停一波又起
没有之前的平静 没有海浪轻轻拍在沙滩边的情绪
只有2012 的海啸 覆盖了我所有的思绪和理智
我太依赖了 不该依赖他
必须好好的安排处理 否则我将会把这学期的功课给搞砸
那我该踏出那一步呢?哪一个功课必须先完成?
Law?Ma? Fa?Cf?Audit?Tax?
照着这个顺序吗?
好多好多东西等着我
他一直的进步 我也不能停下脚步
让我们一起进步吧!我亲爱的。。

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Today!! Make Me.....ARh~~

my laptop been stolen
my house been broke by thief
i hate this thief..
i cursing him all the time..
why he wana b a thief ?
i hate theif
arh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

better watch out!!
you will die while i catch you!!!

Friday, November 6, 2009

totally down!!

sorethroat make me absent and missed the group discussion
UL make me cant get to buy my mp3 today
he make me felt disppointed today
why he cant do easy thing for me
whatever i request jz a very little and easy request
he always 4get it
today he brought me to ole-ole bali
spend about 100bucks
we chit chat and he knows i having a bad bad mood when having dinner
he never remember my stuff
i jz wan to buy my mp3
i jz wan you bring me to night market for some favourite food
i jz wan you watch the movie i like
i jz wan you remember to bring me for food when i was hungry
i jz hope we can have a holiday together in some special place
why you never understand all this
are you unable to do simple n easy thing
i duno whether you understand i really sad and down when you asked me tat question
although you know that i wasnt happy with your behavior
i never asked anything which you dont like
because i know you wont try to do it for me
i'm also lazy and force you to do so
if we dont spend time together after you work
i really dont know who r you to me
mayb someday i realize that i dont really need you with me
i will let you go
if you wana leave you can neither let me know
i will not stop you

do you really like me
do you really wan to spend your time with me
sometime i know that you really care about me
but what i want is jz some simple thing
mayb is too hard for you to do simple n easy thing
su*ks man
i duno what to say on you anymore
i really hope we can have a good time with each other
but i really cant get your mind and neither you to me
i dont need a brand thing
i jz need your heart
dun pretend you dont care
i wan the feeling during your birthday
i have my limit and dont get over it
i will never give the 2nd chance
i care you but you will never know since you never took my words in serious

Thursday, November 5, 2009

心情低落 时间在走动

好难过 功课一直达不到我要的水平
啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊
好闷 想找个人聊聊
可惜我想找的人 不接我电话
到底他在干嘛?
好像抱怨 可是不知道该怎么抱怨
我应该放多点时间在我的课业上
我要的水平 请快快回来
救命啊~!!
有谁可以帮到我?
压力 不知哪来的压力
好恨~~

Sunday, November 1, 2009

ApoloGize to my dear UL

So so sorry to my dear
i shouldnt put my stress on you
caring from ppl around me
also stress to me

i cant take all the question and comment from them
somemore i so confuse with everything
stress make me feel to stop everything and run away from you

i know this is a bad emo decision towards us
i knw is not fair for us
but after chat with my life partner,munmun
i feeling better ady
so sorry to my dear..so so sorry
i shouldnt 4get ur care and ur heart
i shouldnt put my stress towards you
so so sorry~~

such a stranger!

You are stranger for me
without meet each other for a week
i feel so strange to you
what happen with me?
is this a big problem?
i try to ask you dont leave
is't i wan to find the feeling back?
i cant control the strange happened and expanding
it full of my heart
telling you about this
but you do not concern about this issue
will it affect us?
i will never know
will i quit n run away?
i will never know
mayb this is me and my personality
so much unstable and uncomfortable about this
care me plzz
this is what i wan
i will never stay here for you
unless you care about me

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

想写

想写的欲望
不知道想写的原因
最近 刚刚完成了五天的工作
身理和心理 因为工作和感情 我觉得好累
不喜欢猜测 不喜欢含糊不清
可是事情往往不如想象的容易
他画在我身上的图案 我明白了
可是还是有那么一点点地质疑
质疑他对我的感情到底是什么
也质疑我自己对感情的定义
徘徊在纠缠不清的感情世界
不清楚自己的感觉
我想呆在自己的圈圈理?
还是 踏出第一步
勇敢地接受我和他的感情?
一切要到那个时候
决定才会知晓
Juz LeT It b 

Thursday, October 8, 2009

举棋不定

今天 我和自己对棋
law ?mapi?
这两科棋子 我必须放弃一科
最后 law赢得我的爱
虽然这步棋 下得很艰难
最终还是有了结局

一波未停一波又起
runway?photoshoot?
我今天告诉aliya
我真的好想参于runway
虽然我是最没有经验的
可是我一定会做到最好

很抱歉 我没有想过你的计划
我不知道 你想把我训练成photoshoot model
我觉得我们应该把所有的计划都说出来

突然间 发现生活越来越没规律
一切来得太快 太匆忙
开学的第一个星期 有莫名的一股气压在心里
我无法呼吸 拼命的挣扎
希望那天我能得到属于我的氧气

接受吧!这是我的人生!

Friday, October 2, 2009

N o InteRnet Life!!

i had move to my new house at ridzuan condo
Now left only thai, u jian and me stay together
i dont like this new house because i was scared by 3 big cockroaches
HUHU:( i dont like the toilet (their house)
i have to do something on my fierce
if not, ridzuan residences will kill me while i scream

school going to start
study life is coming in few days time
today i still confuse whether i should change my option module
MAPI oLAW??UL:MAPI;WEN:LAW
different ppl have opposite opinion haha:)
ppl who prefer MAPI :Law Is Fix,We can study by ourselves
ppl who prefer LAW:Mapi can study and learn through experience,but for Law,u will not study by ourselves since Law is boring and Fix
WHich one i suppose to take?will have to wait i attend both classes


my DEAR UL getting busy oso
conversation with him(ytd nite)
UL:will you miss my hug during the nite?
Me:yes.mayb..y?
UL:i'm getting busy and i might not able to come often for you..how?
Me:i'm ok..and understand..my school life will b busy and i will b very tired since i use my brain again...hehe:) dun worry my dear...
UL:really?
Me:but if i miss you,then how?
UL:i will come to you as fast as i can!!once you call,i will come to you.
Me:can u sleep without my hug?
UL:shud b ok!!
MY DEAR UL,lets fight for our own future!!
NGek NGek!!

Last word!!
i wan my internet back...HUHU:( T_T

Saturday, September 26, 2009

1st portfolio shooting!(^.*)

yesterday was my 1st portfolio shooting
i feel awkard and nervous before the shoot start
******************************
comment from WISH:
U totally doesnt look any fierce and nervous during the shoot
U are confidence and natural
******************************
after the shoot, from Wish's comment,
-i need more practice in my leg pose bcz i awes care how to pose well on my leg
-i have to practice more in straight on my backbone
(I'm doing practice on straight my backbone and keeping my tummy even i writing my blog..wakaka)

Hope tomorrow i still can use my backbone
wakaka..:)
tomorrow will continue for shooting
i have alot to practice
hope i can do better than yesterday..hehe

**SmiLe AlwAys WitH mE**
**ConFiDencE**
**ImpRovEmenT**

WoW**I have So MucH**I nEEd to WORK On IT!!!
GO go GO

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

crying!!

最后一次
这是一首很感动的歌曲
**在我最后一次 闭上眼睛之前
我想对你说我爱你
在你怀里舍不得放弃
心里有千万语还没说给你听
我使尽全力 不想闭上眼睛
这次告别就不能再相遇
不能再陪你 但不要忘记
你曾经答应我要好好的活下去

先走了 去了好远的地方
不能再陪你看日出 等不到天亮
所有回忆 抹去 却并不容易
生死由天决定 不要太伤心**

我永远爱你


这首歌 代表我心里的感受
害怕来不及对你说 最后一次的我爱你
爷 你要好好活下去

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

大迷路

今天 心情欠佳
这都是因为 迷路惹的祸
我在一天里 迷路了好久
这次的经验 我无法用语言去代表
我只能说 我不可以在不集中精神下驾驶
驾驶 让我无奈无言
难过 满满的溢出了我的心
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
人生中的经验 叫我感到莫名的震斗

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

AnXiEty

i feel nervous start from the passed few day
my mailbox getting full n full
my workloads getting increase one by one

Journey start in the fast way
Engine getting HOT n HOT
my HEART getting FREEZE
STRESS make a human sane
BUT i will never be sane
STRESS never come to me
but ANXIETY is yes

I'M GOING STAY INTO A DIFFERENT WORLD!!

Monday, September 14, 2009

一步步的踏上新的旅程

最近 我一打开电脑的 第一件事就是 检查我的mailbox
mailbox成了我的工作接收器
manila的经纪人 已经开始把不同的工作带给我
她希望我可以在短时间内 成为一个专业的model
很幸运的我 被一位有名的专业摄影师聊上
为什么是聊上呢?
那是因为 通过msn 我得到他的喜爱
他即将 聘请我 成为他的助手
而且他愿意把model该有的姿势 都教我
如果 我表现得好 他会带我一起去国外的拍摄工作
现在的我 就要等今晚的答复
他很忙很忙 可是 只要得空 他都会找我聊天
从他身上 我可以学习 拍摄 化妆 姿势 不同的文化
他是个很多学问的人
我应该感谢上帝 把好事发生身在我身上
可是 我该接受外国的广告吗?
这个广告 必须穿bikini and gstring
我可以吗? 我的家人能接受吗?他又能接受吗?

朋友 给点意见好吗?

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

恐惧 心痛

我最近一直徘徊 在这两个感觉之间

恐惧 是来自自私
这个失去 是会让我对他的想念日日增加
当我看到那他经常坐着的躺椅 吃饭的位置
在摇篮旁的他 唱着哄我睡觉的歌
想起骑着脚踏车 载着我的他
在我心里 最重要的他 无人能代替
我无法接受 我做不到心理准备
现在的我 害怕半夜的来电 害怕家人给我的信息
我害怕不能在他离去前 让他看看我
我害怕没有机会再让他听见我的声音

心痛 是来自不忍
不忍心他每天要吃那么多的药
不忍心看到他每天面对着抽血的针
第一次看到他痛的样子 我的心也跟着心疼
不想他每天承受那样的疼痛
如果因为放不下她
如果我可以早点毕业
如果他可以为我戴上我得毕业四方帽
他答应过 会来我的毕业典礼
再给我两年 只要他为我戴上四方帽
只要我可以完成他的心愿
我知道他最放不下的是她
就算是 我也希望可以在等两年

我不知道 那天的到来我会怎样去面对 怎样去接受
但我只求‘你’再给我两年的时间
不然就不要让他痛苦 让他安详的离去
但是 最起码让我陪在他身边直到最后一秒
*********************************
眼泪 无情地从我的眼睛流出
我无法改变
但我希望 他可以坚强的留下
*********************************

Monday, August 31, 2009

迷迷糊糊

失去方向
我差点就失去理智
感情 让我迷迷糊糊的
为什么 我竟然接受一个不符合我要求的男人
我们不是情侣 我们也不只是朋友
我们到底是什么?
8个小时 紧握着对方的手
相偎相依 互相鼓励 互相拥抱
看着他的双眼 相信他不会辜负我
我以为我可以不在乎
七夕当天 想抱着他 说声情人节快乐
难过烦恼 想对他说 晴天会来临

从来没想过他会紧紧地握着我的手
可以清楚地感觉到他的在乎
他答应 雨过天晴后 会和我一起去放假
我想抱着他 与他 渡过满满的假期
现在的我 无法帮他什么 只有给他拥抱和温暖

Sunday, August 23, 2009

DeC1s1on MaK1nG

My 3rD Mth holiday going end Soon!!
so fast~~bt busy busy busy and busy for the whole holiday
it doesnt seem like a holiday i shud have
but no choice, this is the life i have in this 4Mths hol1day

tat day i sent a profile for a job which i found in asiaparttime.com
the agent is from manila..her name aliyasinthya
she is going to hire me as their model
she sponsors 60% in create my portfolio
and i'm goinb to be trained and become their model
now i have to prepare myself for my portfolio shooting
it sounds interesting..the photographer named Wish.
he has 7-8 yrs experience in photographer
i hope i can reach their expectation or do better than their expectation
if i reali start this career, i will continue it for the following life

my life become more n more exiciting and happening
i keep improve myself in different career such as freelance job,modelling,insurance, and being a good n brilliant student,a children for my parent and family
my life partner and UL sick recently, hope they can recover soon
they having their busy life as me in different prospective

UL getting busy than b4, he might not have much more time tat can spend with me
now we might only meet each other once a week..i think will meet each other twice per mth
he busy for his career,his sister website, his own learning centre, his frens...etc...
since he has so busy life, i will oso start my busy life sooner..
ytd nite, i told him about my portfolio creation..
he din disagreed but he asked bout the photographer
sorry dear, i'm not reali know about him
he is arrange by my agent from manila

when i chat with Wish, i'm jz like a kid for him..
bcz i keep ask alot of question
mayb scare be cheat again, so haha..i'm a kid for him
start from now, i have to learn how to talk as a model
i will be train about the basic pose, catwalk, stand, and everything
i hope i won disappointed aliya
and i also hope i can walk out my own modelling road
this is a another beginning in my life for me..
and i am a beginner for all this..
**good luck
Xindyan**

Sunday, August 9, 2009

阴阳天

overhead~~不错的一部戏。
和我一起欣赏这部戏的就是笨笨呆呆的eugene
一个连戏票都要司机帮他买的工程师
最糟的是那个印度司机竟然卖B的位置
由于我们俩 都长得蛮高的
所以 我们决定看到不舒服时就离开
但是 因为这部戏 太吸引人了
我们还是把他看完 才离开

太饿太饿~~ 我们去了ss2的nasilemak
我们兜了很远很多地方
还差点 到klang valley吃buffet
超搞笑的约会 可是确实很好地回忆
他还答应要带我去吃四川火锅
明天就是吃火锅的一天
好期待 辣辣辣辣~~
*****************************
虽然这边玩到很开心
可是想到那个‘他’
很生气 很不爽
哼!!!!!
我要回我的生活
我要我的一切
我的生活不会再有你
生气!!!!!!!!!
可恶~!!!!
闪〉〉〉〉
离我远远的〉〉〉
好想骂 脏话!·#¥%
可恶!!!!
不喜欢 不开心
一切都是我自找的
我不准你再踏进我的生活!!
不准你再出现在我的生活!!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

我需要没有一点的束搏

一点点地牵挂 让我无法思考
一点点地担心 让我喘不过气
我不适合 挂念 也不适合 在乎
我尝试 把自己带离你的生活
我尝试 不把我和你 变成我们
我以为 只要我不找你 你也不会记得我
每当我开始尝试忽略你的存在
你却会无时无刻的联系我
昨晚 我觉得好陌生
可能 我害怕 我们的关系
我们没说什么话
我感受到你的关心
我也感觉到自己的逃避
我没伤害你吧?
可能是因为 他人的问题
让我更加地想逃避
可能是害怕听见你的否认
还是害怕我们之间的关系
为什么我们会让事情发生?
这是 理所当然的吗?
我和你 是理所当然吗?
好多疑问 让我不想去理会
我的坦荡 要是伤害了你
记得用你的拥抱 告诉我
拥抱 让我会感受到你需要我
这可能就是我和你的沟通方式
有些话 不需要多说
我和你 或者是 我们
对我来说 是不同的个体
你有你的生活 我有我的生活
不干涉 对我们来说 是最好的
在你心里 又是什么感想呢?
从来不问 不代表我不在乎
而是 我不习惯 也不懂得
害怕让你感受到我的心情
害怕你和我一样
我应该给的体谅 无时无刻的包容
一样也不会少 只要你需要
想念 我可能必须接受
可是我会让我不受束搏的生活
********
风 吹着我的脸
飞翔 是我的氧气
********

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Hospital day

i have no idea to write down this post
because my body still in blur condition
i have started vomit from last midnite untill ytd nite
i went for the clinic,the doct cant get to know wat happen with me
she wrote a letter for sent me to emergency unit
when i been there, OMG!!!
i wait for 3 hrs den onli can get to c the doct
the doct was a person who dont care about cleanly..i think so..
he scratch his foot then without washing his hand..OMG~~
luckily he din touch me..if not i will vomit in front of him..
he cant gva result on my illness
i been sent to observation room for 3hrs again
my dear uncle was waiting me for more than 6 hrs outside the hospital

after me, a patient was being sent in and she was being observe also
but she being suspense "having H1N1"
i was thinking: if i'm healthy, then will i get this illness lata??
luckily i can gone back home..
but today i still feel blur and no energy..
i still got alot of medicine need to eat by after every meal..
i cant work..my parent keep asked me back home.
stop work for this few days~~
i haven consider yet..
my dear UL get fodd poisoning..i feel sorry bout him..
my dear, sorry yea~~
next time won bring u to jogoya le..
hope u recovery soon..
***hugs***
this is wat i want to do for u nw**:)**
i still haven decide whether to back hometown
if i dun back will take care of u for this few days
but i scare lata u have to take care of me
haha...nurse said my body lack of oxygen
so will easy to faint down..so to be easy for u
i knw u will prefer nt need to take care of me

alone at my uncle hs now..
i'm so boring and miss u
but u haven reply my msg
i think u reali sick and charm...
huhu~~miss u la..worry bout u oso..
take good care of urself la
i also need my uncle to take care of me
we will meet each other soonly..muakzxx

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

安全感 我需要的

最近 有点懒 有点闷 有点静
原因 出于我的懦弱 我的自私
承诺 能让我得到安全感吗?
给于地承诺 是我不敢接受现在的一切
我到底是什么事?
累了吗?突然感受到压力
我可不想脱发 也不想拥有不该出现的痕迹
压力!!压力!!

欲望 是不好的 急于功利 也是不好的
我好想 安安分分 当个学生 当个20 岁的女孩
每天开开心心 学我想学的音乐 虽然 可能没有天分
像中学的时候 每天无忧无虑的 做自己喜欢的事
没有压力 没有烦恼 没有负担 没有承诺
这些没有 随着每一天 慢慢的消失
今天还会想不开 觉得我是不是走错了
可是 我知道不该有这些想法
是因为 最近所发生的吗?
我的内心 还是的无知的小女生
会依赖 会霸道 还学不会体谅 包容
安全感 我已经忘了这是我最想要的
为什么会那么需要呢?
因为 一个人?爱上他? 还是短暂的需要?

伤害 是可以由一个人造成的
伤害自己 我在做着 可是却无法停下来
知道了 还是不能阻止
我好想坦荡荡的做我自己
****B3 My$elf****

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Life is GREAT~~

i having my great life now
doesnt come out with trouble
but today...i receive few mails and msg which get me in trouble..
****i dun wan mention the trouble****
i reali dun like it..

since i having my life and my life doesnt involve u all..
so dun come and mess up..
i dun understand who are the one so free to destroy ppl's relationship
who are u?U this b*stard~~STOP involve mE~
STOP destroy relationship~~
STOP interrupt my life anymore!!!

i dun have time to due with u~~~
if u wana play game ..show me who r u~~u this noob~~useless!!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

1st time's 4 mths holiday!!

today is 11/7/2009
happy birthday to ejae!!
sorry cant celebrate for you

this mth is 2nd mth holiday le..wat had happen and still happening leh?
i clubbed alot last mth..this mth stop club le..although hav many frenz invite me..
but i wana b a good gal!!
dun hv a good health..will take a body check this end of mth
he worry me..sorry to make u worry..i will take good care of myself

today my UL gone back to hometown..miss him la..
although i jz met him ytd nite n this morning
muakzzz..love to kiss u in every moment..
haha..like to hear from u..why?what are u thinking??
like a kid asked alot..
haha..bkful when drive..i will worry and miss u awes
muakzzz~~this is 2nd mth le..

Saturday, June 27, 2009

This is M>E!!

如果你相信我给你的感觉,这个问题“我们是什么关系?”,我没有答案。
对你来说其实不重要的 因为你会赢得我的一切
相信你自己 只有真心地对待 才会看见彩虹的出现
真心可以感动一切 就好像我用我的真心对你 而你却给我我想要的
虽然你没有感觉到 但是一切的一切 都在改变 就让事情自然的发展吧!

射手女生可能永远也不会知道自己想要的是什么,但是她一直都很清楚,她不想要的是什么。
她总喜欢做幕后的看客,冷冷地,静静地看着一切,在她眼里,一切都在她的意料之中,她并不觉得有什么是新奇的,如果她表现得新奇,那是因为她觉得应该这样做。她像一个看戏的人,永远置身事外。>   >>   
你不要责怪她冷漠,这是她保护自己的唯一方式。她像一只刺猬,随> 时竖起自己身上的刺,但她的刺不会伤人,她只是用来武装自己。>   >>  
她不敢要太多的爱,她怕享受完爱之后,剩下的只是加倍的痛。所以当别人对她过度宠爱时,她不但不会欣喜,反而会惊惧地逃走,她不知道怎样回报别人对她的爱,如果你得到她的喜爱,那是因为她已经知道如何面对,如何回报了。>   
她追求那种君子之交淡如水的境界。>   >>  
她懂得爱人,但她不习惯爱人,她知道爱往往伴随着恨,而恨,是太沉重的伤痛,也是太容易让人疲倦的感情。她不想痛,也就懒得去恨,于是,为了防范恨与痛的到来,她只好选择不爱,即使爱,也是淡淡的,冷冷的。别怪她,她是真的不知道如何专注。>   >>  
她有时也很虚伪。不要指责她,她之所以选择虚伪,那是你勉强她做她不愿做但又拒绝不了的事,她不习惯承诺,也不懂得拒绝,她最擅长的是难为自己。她不想你难过,只好令自己难过。>   >>  
她总是固执地认为自己有超乎寻常的承受力,她将自己想得太坚强,而把别人想得太> 脆弱。她老是担心自己的行为会让别人受到伤害。她不知道,受伤的其实是自己。只是她不知道如何表现出来,她迷糊得像别人所认为的那样,将自己当成一个百毒不侵的人。>   >   >>
别以为她很洒脱,很多时候,她其实> 是放不下的-——她比任何人都要敏感,都要细腻,但她不会让你知道,她明白,即使你知道了,也是无济于事。她的心是把握不住的风,她渴望像风一样单纯而自由。>   >>   
她不是不想平静,她只是找不到平静的理由,她> 一生都无法明确自己在人世要扮演的角色,她只有不停地寻求,寻求自己最终的目的。>>   >>  
如果她找到了,她会毫不犹豫地停下来,从此放弃心灵的漂泊。很遗憾,她永远也不会满足,她的追求永不停止。她的心再累,无法逼迫自己放弃梦想,梦想是她唯一的支撑点。>   >>  
千万别让她失望。因为她学不会原> 谅,她非常渴求完美,虽然她知道世间没有绝对的完美,但,她有绝对追求完美的执着。你若令她失望,她会不可挽回地离开,即使她的心在滴血,即使痛楚重得要压垮她的生命,她也绝不回头。>   >   >>  
那个时候,你在她脸上所看到的,> 是让人寒心的决绝。即使她还在你的身边,她的心也早就离你十万八千里,你看不到她的恨,但是你会感受到比恨还让人痛苦的冷淡。她的离开是心灵的离开。>   >>  
她可以在前半分钟对你好得让你受宠若惊,也可以在后半钟> 冷漠得让你不可接受。不要问她为什么这样善变,她也不知道。当你看到她在疯狂地快乐或悲伤时,千万不要迷惑,不管她看起来是多么的疯狂,她内心其实是冷静的,她比你们任何一个旁观者更知道如何处理快乐与悲伤,她只是习惯-——也可以说是喜欢将一切都变得疯狂。>   >>  
因为她觉得这> 是义务,也是权利,她是制造气氛的能手,她的一句俏皮话会让一切轻快起来,但她的一声叹息又会将一切都弄得很沉重。她总是不由自主地交错操纵着快乐与忧郁.>   >>   
她并不如你们看到的那么快乐,同样,也不如你们看到> 的那么忧伤,只是,她忧郁时,喜欢带上快乐的面具,而当她快乐时,忧郁又不肯轻易放过她。>   >>  
在她的世界里,盛着的不是快乐的源泉,而是她不愿在人前滴下的泪水。你看到的她,笑起来像一个孩子,你有时会认为她天真得像是童话里走出来的天使。但是,你若有心,你会看到她沉静时脸上挥之不去的忧伤,还有她的眼底,竟那么凝重地积压着一种看破红尘的味道。她只有在午夜无人的时候,才会完全地释放自己。她不会在众目睽睽之下表露她的无助,她的彷徨,她的沧桑。>   >>   
她心里的,是永远流不尽的泪。你所看到的坚强,只是她在竭力掩饰的脆弱。>>>>>>

Thursday, June 18, 2009

sore throat!!

huhu...i hate sore throat..arhhhh!!
Pain..no voice..cant eat..
this is my 1st feeling in this morning
someone can send me to clinic??
or i wan to cut out my throat?

drag me to hell= my sore throat
it make me feel like i'm in the hell
i watched this mv ytd
i found something very and dam funny
normally will oni happened in some mv o drama
but it happened in my life

i would like to tell this story in a sentense
"my underground lover catch my hand to close his eyes when the old ladies jump out in the store room"
waahhaa....usually is me catch ppl's hand to close my eyes..
but i think since ytd, will have him to borrow my hand to close his eyes
he was so nervous la..how to protect his future galfren next time==ll
he was screaming when the old ladies come out..OMG
i oso scare but when i see him scream...my scream change to laugh..
haha...this underground lover reali a DAN XIAO GUI
anyone wan this guy??
he is available..you can drop ur request(phone no) in my comment box
i will let him knw..wahaha..promotion for DAN XIAO GUI

Sunday, June 14, 2009

life changing 1

life starts changing....with him...
有人陪伴 固然是件好事
the courage to fall in love again is from the fear of being alone?
for love??for lust??
这是个很好的问题 因为爱还是欲望
两个不寻找爱情的人相遇相惜 出现的火花 会是什么画面呢?
两个不同方向的人 在一个地点相吸相拥
信任的萌芽 蔓延在两人之间 不确定的感觉 已经不是问题了
因为不同方向的两个人 不同生活的两个人 会相吸相惜 世上天赐给的礼物
感谢老天的安排 一切就顺其自然吧
对你而言 我会在你心里是什么位置
你给我的问题 很敏感的
对你而言 什么男生是你会满意的
答案不重要 可是却要我回答
你是我的 地下情人 underground lover
这是我的感觉 以后会有什么改变 我也不知道
我们的关系和感觉会维持多久
没有约定 没有说明的关系 没有对方的肯定
“没有” “不同” “奇迹”
我们发生的始端 充满了以上三点
我们结束的末端 又充满了什么
我的不安 现在有你来安慰
不安不是因为你 那会是什么事?

Monday, June 8, 2009

i have a dream;another turning point of my life

this is a delay post...i shud wrote it down on saturday morning..
i make a special dream..the same content but different time

the dream:
i was inside my parent's car, inside the car have my ex and my family member..i was so surprise when i dream of him..
however, this is also tell me that i will have other life again
when we seat inside the car and we have passed over a village..
erm..shud be a house which living full of ppl
a old man passed me a baby..i think the baby have jz few days big..
he was sleeping..but he open his eyes and look at me once..
i was so happy when i hug him, i look at my ex and i try to ask him something but he doesnt answer me
we reach a church, ppl is singing around and so cheerful..
i was hugging the baby and walk in..i try to follow after my ex
but i lost him when i stand infront the entrance..
everything is in happinese mode..

knock..knock ..knock..i have to wake up for preparing myself
i'm going times square for Jolin..
i spend almost 12 hours for her..when i back to home
there is already 10pm..i have to prepare for another round..
clubbing..i din rest n i din sleep for the whole night..
hanging around with a fren, kind tat crazy for me
****those stupid and crazy thing*****
i think better keep in my own mind...den enough..
hmmm...i will accept my new life..go ahead ba..
everything will be fined..

Thursday, June 4, 2009

我需要一个人

一个人
一个我可以信任
一个在我脆弱的时候 让我依靠的人
一个可以永远信赖的
这应该是 寂寞的我吧!
寂寞的心情 是冷 害怕
是一个可以让人做出 失去理智的决定
也是会伤害自己的决定
放弃爱我的人
这就是我该承受的吗?
选择一个人 就必须在难过的时刻 坚强的活
就不能因为难过 而选择对别人的怀抱
我还是适合一个人 我需要一个人
需要变得更坚强
虽然 很难过 但是 这是我的选择
我需要一个人 到遥远的地方 开始新的生活
这大概 还得等到毕业
加油!不要轻易放弃
爸爸今天被海警 捉去了
如果不是我 他应该可以不用那么的辛苦
对不起 对不起 我的向往 让你辛苦了
我会好好的努力 把成绩 事业 做好
不会让你失望
就算我再难过 我也不会轻言放弃
fighting xindy!!
一个人的生活 会比像想象的 来的难吧!
17 again!!
just finished this movie with my housemate
i suppose to be at MoS dancing drinking flirting
but i ffk my fren bcz i dun wan to spoil their mood

i wish i could go back to the previous life like the movie
if i go back to previous, will everything happen the same?
like the movie, same game, same words, same decision?

unfairness this is my feel in the moment
blaming unhappy unlike hate
i dun like ppl suspense about me
if you dun wan or reject jz inform and tell me
i dun hope u blame me in future
i have did my resposiblity but you do not accept
so i cant do anything dun blame me
is nt my faults

i upset but i cant find one to talk
the one i wan to find
nw are far from thousand miles away in the sky
huhu...i need u..i will wait u back..
and tell u everything which i have felt today...
vivi..remember bring me a sovienent and gv me some time to talk to u
huhu.......i hate all this happen today..
make me nt in the mood to watch mv n clubbing...
arkhhhhhhhh!!!

Sunday, May 31, 2009

无所事事

kl-sitiawan-pantai-sitiawan-pantai-sitiawan-kl
this journey keep repeat within this few weekend..

pantai-sitiawan-pantai-sitiawan-pantai..
i repeat three to four times within the same day
i dun have enuf time to spend..24hours per day
i spend 24 hrs..nt enuf sleep..but i still have to continue my journey..
fren-work-family-study
i plan to spend my day with my grandpa..but i jz meet with him
not more than 24hrs..huhu..i hope my time can be more than 24hrs.

i dun wan to write much for this blog..bcz recently too much flirt stuff..
nt good to record down..i will regret after i flirt..haha
but my life is full of happening..
jz wtch icac with my fren..tmr whr to go..no idea yet..
but sure will hv thing to do..when my fiancee wan watch terminator salvation??when my buffet shud arrange??
wednesday have dinner with eugene who i knw at quattro..
my dear darling..raine..haha..will bring her along..
i dun like deal with stranger..although we hav chat in msg n phone..
but for me, u all are strangers..and i always have many frens..
i knw them in a quite weird way..they are strangers in the beginning
den ended up..we very close..haha..i think this is why my life full of happening..

sorry..if u dun understand, jz ignore this blog..
bcz i just express my stress...

Monday, May 25, 2009

Flirt出祸!!

Flirt is a good thing,it also a bad thing..
when u just know a guy/gal,flirt would be a good tool for get to know each other better...

this is the beginning of flirt...
guy:"wat u doin?"
gal:"doin nth lol"
guy:"reali?! i tot u will miss me?"
gal:"lol.. sure will miss u lol..but my brain just use for useful thing,not for miss anyone"
guy:"but i miss u everyday la..when can meet with u"
gal:"will c ya..i have no idea"
guy:"okay..but i reali wish to meet u."
gal:"haha..u better dun serious to me.."
guy:"hoho..i got someone in my heart de.."
gal:"better is true lol"

after more than one year...flirt 出祸
guy:"i like you, could we be together?"
gal:"i tot u got someone u like?"
guy:"....dun talk about it..i just wan to let u know my heart.."
gal:"thanks but u know we couldn't be..sorry"

someday..thing out of control..
guy:"whr u go?"
gal:"hang out with fren,why?"
guy:"why you din inform me?"
gal:"zzz...==lll why i should inform u?"
gal:"u know i never report to anyone and i dun like the way u have now."
guy:"but i tot we not tat simple"
gal:"we just that simple,i have who i like, and u should royal to ur galfren"

huhu!!!all out of control!!
flirt reali not a good things, if we over le..
wat can i do to stop this misunderstanding..
sei lol...stop contact?stop fren?
==lll...i just wan normal fren..mayb can be close..
but dun fall into each other..since i couldn't accept and handle this..
i dun wan be 3rd parties...if u both have problem, pls dun involve me..
i can be the person who listen to ur sad thing, caring u..
but we won be a couple.

Monday, May 18, 2009

最陌生的熟人

昨天晚上 第一次去quottro...(duno how to spell)
也是和raine第一次见面 我们(hometown fren) 一起在里面狂欢
虽然 我不是很喜欢 不过 我还是去了 朋友为了我 我也应该为为他们
一个晚上 跳舞 喝喝 满脑子都是你
你 应该不会记得我的存在吧?好想抱抱你

今天还有考试 可是 我却玩到凌晨4点才回家
我真得快变铁人了 好事还是坏事呢?
我越来越不明白自己 是因为太害怕失去还是选择性的逃避呢?
我的他 会不会变成 最陌生的熟人??
害怕这一天 只会逃避的我 应该会躲起来吧?

那个女孩 是不是对你充满好奇呢?
你对她又是 什么感觉?
她和你 是暧昧?
如果你选择了“她” 而我还是没办法停止爱你
那我会把自己永远抽离你的世界
不再见 可能就是我们的结局
我会难过 我知道你可以感觉到
可是 我重来没办法感觉到我们的未来
一切就酱超乎想象 因为 这才是我们的未来

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

^Fly^

every time blog must think about ^title^
duno what to put for my title

everything keep changing..
i should adopt it rather than stop there and prevent it..
seldom think about ^love^ ^fren^ ^result^
i seem like change to another personality in a very short period..
selfish i think involve in between, the most thing i dun wan
sometime i feel like i should just accept everything which happen in my life..dont avoid it, face on it, then fined..

ytd nite, i dream i meet with raine..we were enjoy our hang out..
will it reali happen??if reali..
why i din dream about my final??
swt la..==lll
i duno why this time i couldn't put any effort in my final..
FEd Up???dont know..
so many thing happen, but i just blaming and blaming..

i need a big shoulder
i love u all, can i have u all with me?
i love u, my fren, can i hug u again?
i love everything around me, could them dont leave me?
what can i do??i wan myself be peace ever..

i sleep at 3am ytd nite..i think to travel to taiwan
since the flight ticket so cheaper onli within 500 for two ways..
but my fiancee plan to go on sept..
i still having my internship..How??
cant so greedy..what can i do??
TAIWAN..SUNWAY..which wan better??
i wan ask all my fren go with me..
OMG..so many desert attract me..
GREEDY is not a good things in life,
it cause alot of fight and suffer..
GREEDY=Desire
i have very strong desire on everything..
should reduce it..haha!!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Hair show 09/05/2009

this is my second show..is a hair show..
i very happy and still happy bcz i have knowing a lot of frenz in the hair show..they are mostly Acut above student...and sunway students..
all younger than me
and my coursemate have found his 'missing' bro...
we have put a lot effort and my hair stylist felt satisfy when she get done on my hair..she named cindy duan..
haha!!same name..different spelling..
i like to join these kind of hair show..
i could know alot of frens and learn alot from the show...
wow..we have quite special stages..
nick is the 1st model who walk out..he feel excited as well..
(want know more about him??)add him in facebook ba...
can find him through my facebook..haha..
very happy and tired..whole body tired
have to study for monday GBC..

greedy is not a good things..but i feel happy when i get all..
swt==lll
picture will upload soon in my facebook..
mostly with my new frens..will add them lata..
GAMBATEH !!!FInaL!!

Thursday, April 30, 2009

<>

different people will have different point of view
i just finish a conversation with my best friend
i know this is unfair to her to hear all the disatisfy about her bf.
her bf oso our best fren.haih...i dun like this conflict la..

fair is difficult to have amongst people..
before expect people do well, we must done our part 1st..
if u dint tell people, people wouldnt know what you have done..
mayb your privacy do not need to share with us
but groupwork..please la..
dun keep it..tell us...dun expect we ask from u
u r adult ady..and we wont ask you again n again

different people know different things..
what we understand and what you understand is different..
i dun hope conflict happen amongst us..
i just hope everything will be well..
i duno what gone wrong amongst us..
but it seem different than before ady..
if only me misunderstood then i will apologize..
but not only me lo..so i hope thing will settle down asap..
huhu...i cant study bcz of this la..
i hate conflict and misunderstood..


this just my personal feeling at the particular of time..

study week!!

study study study!!
too busy and full of planning within this two weeks..
too greedy adi..too many stuff have to do..

hahahahaha..
going crazy soon..
study..hair show..interview..
yaya..i have to go for interview in sunway..
internsip programme..so lucky can get the interview..
then i can spend my time with fren and stay at KL..

exam please pass in a second..let me take a long break..
clubing ...i want to go with my fren..i have promise a few of them..
but i was too busy within this two months..
sorry for ffk...no choice la..
study and work is more important.
TIME oso very important la!!who ask all of us free in different timing..
wahaha...!!#^&

this is the plan after exam:
20/5 after 6pm..yaya..mongolia steambot>sing K>till midnite
21/5 watch movie(korea mv)wakaka>shopping-for my work>drama-ing(non-stop)
22/5 sleep wholeday...wahaha...kacau my fiancee--thaithai..u die la..
23/5 prepare for my LAN hope fast fast finish these two subjects...

then i can go for travel-singapore...shopping...wohooo!!
after tat have to fight for my career..hope i can achieve the target.then i can go taiwan next year
with FREE...and bring my mom along...
BOSS u prepare your MONEY la>>>

huhhuhuhu!!fast fast pass this suffer month la..
GAMBATEH xindy!!!fighting!!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

流浪记

这几天 到处去睡 到不同的人的家
不想留在家 不想一个人 心 不在书上

最近 会频频想起他 为什么呢?
我还以为自己已经不会再想起他了
今天 我因为向着他的事 我忘了下车
sighs...为什么??
一直以为的事 和想象中的有差
我应该说吗?? 还是 就让自己遗憾?
有差吗?我也不知道.
啊!! 想离开 这是我流浪的原因
到处去 到处遇见不同的人事物
这应该才是真正的我 因为 我一直都酱生活
一直以来 没有人可以让我停下
当我想起他 我停下脚步 学会看看身边的一切
可惜 我还是会继续我的旅程
因为 他不会挽留我 停下我的步伐
唯一 要我做自己喜欢的事 是他
太多的可惜存在我们之间
不想用我和他 这让我感觉到好远

今天 我会想起我们的回忆
没有开始就没有结束 我们共同的信念
可是在所有人的心 代表着爱情没有发生过
当我伸出手 还会碰到你吗?
当我需要你 你会关心我吗?
没有心读书 没有心留在同一个地方
可以告诉我 我们在一起过吗?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

我是怎么了?

昨天 我测试了 我值得男人疼惜吗?
答案 我不值得 我还得疼男人 ==
就因为我太strong...=="'
thai said: " the ans very accurate.."
me: " why?"
thai:"bcz i let ppl feel im strong, i can do everything!"
me:" shuold i asked guy help even i know how to do?"
thai:"yes, den only can show i'm a gal.."
me:"huhu!!no one can help me la..who can i asked?"
thai:"zzz"
me:" i also dun wan i can learn thing by just look at it la"
thai:" strong lo"
me:" == i also need help , i'm not really strong"
thai:"...u can de la.."

huhuhu!!
i dun wan like tat la..
wan simple normal gal..
stupid quiz..my fren asked me dun believe..
but thai-know me almoz 7years, he said so..
i wan cry in front of him but i wont cry in front of him..
never cry in front of him..onli best fren n boyfren..
no boyfren, and i cant simply cry in front of my fren..
they will scare and this is not suit me..haih..

want quit my study and work as stewardess..
travel around leaves here
think think should be ok..
haha..reali duno why cant study at home..
change environment..
should bcome tougher ..
dun think to much..
no relationship no conflict no passed no 'thing'
stupid 'thing' stay away from me...
dun awes come into my mind..
i dun like..go back to ur own world..stupid stupud..

Monday, April 20, 2009

new born baby!!

i miss my mum, dad, my family..
hmn...today 9am, i came back from ipoh by KTM>>
when i reach subang jaya..i found out that i duno the way to college=='''
vivi laugh on me..but luckily got her, she came to pick me..muakzz.

a new born baby..3weeks..she so small..
i love her..i love all the babies in this world..
i shud open my child care center as soon as possible..
i love u my dear cousin..u so cute..muakz muakz muakz..
haih...i duno how to post the picture..i upload at facebook la..

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Have a new start for my studies n life!!

today me and my frenzzz-total 9 ppl
we went to sakae sushi...we got profit lol..
eat more than we paid...
haha...reali have a good experience..

i promise my fren become her model on 9may2009
the show will held at sunway..the title is NATURAL
what is NATURAL??
what will be my hair style on that day?
and will change my hair style after that day...==''

need a guy model for my frenzz..
duno who can i asked for..
bcz no payment for the show
but can have fun...
anyone interest??

i wear spec today..but with my contact lense...
my eyes keep alergic ...wat happen leh??
i cant c anything if no lense==!!

watched a movie with ejae..shinjiku==
so cruel...==""T.T
cut some part somemore..
haihzz...tired...final left 3weeks only..
is time to study hard and smart..
GAMBATEH XINDY...
I know u can do it ..

Thursday, April 9, 2009

你我他

你我他

一切的一切, 发生在一瞬间。。。
没有停下的意识。。
今天听到 一份感动的爱
就算结局可能是 单恋 或 相爱
可是他还是为她付出他的真心
每天小小的付出 早餐 安慰的拥抱
静静的聆听 简单的微笑 每天的一封信息
一段简单的通话 爱恋的眼神

你会感动吗?
简单的爱 没有伪装 没有隐瞒
好久好久 没有对你微笑
好久好久 没有对你坦白
这原本发生在我们之间的一切

我看到 同样发生在他们身上
结局会是如何 我希望是甜蜜 是开心
是永远的爱 虽然 偶尔的吵闹 难过
天下没有十全十美的
爱也没有完整的

如果爱情是两个人的事
那。。一个人的爱呢?
难道这就不是爱情了吗?

逃避 漠视 断绝 懦弱
面对 相望 联系 勇敢
不过是一线之差
有谁能够 远离这一切

是时候 勇敢的把一切 画上休止符
对他人的建议 是否可以放在我的身上
最后的拥抱 最后的告白 最后的最后
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

Friday, April 3, 2009

happy day!!

this will be the 1st blog without emo..i think

lol..how to start?start with yesterday la..
i found tat i been fooled by my ex..==
i reali duno how to comment on this ..i reali stupid la..
april fool..i still believe him..make all my frens laugh on me lol..
but nvm lol..i 4give u..

my little cousin was born few days ago..
lol..i so happy..i wan hug her..
she is she...my uncle 1st child..hope they can enjoy their happinese..
lol..hyper happy with this little gal come to my family..
i will love u..i love baby...and my uncle love me so much..so i will be ur sister..forever..n ever..love u baby..

this evening, me, vivi, michelle, and wei jie went to watch confession of shopaholic..lol
totally can represent indulgence spending in usa..and credit card make ppl in worse situation..
me, vivi, and michelle come out a conclusion..
three of us cannot have credit card...even one also CANNOT!!!
is a SERIOUS problem lol...
huhu!!i reali like to but shoes..three of us oso the same..and dresses
wei jie said: "no credit card for michelle"
poor michelle..but is good oso...dun wan have debts la...financial crisis..

haha..i have to control oso..nt good to indeulgence spending..
we have ate a GIANT yankee burger..
lol.. serve for 4 persons ..reali huge for me..
michelle remember upload the pictures...
lol..show everyone the huge burger..
i like it..but vivi din finish..waste lol..haha..she ended up with hungry when back home..

sleepy and tired..din do homework yet..need work lol..dun lazy..
lifecanbecomplicated, but i will enjoyed my life..

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

april fool coming!!

1/4/2009 12:05am
haihzzz...soemone just break my record..zzz
sorry to hurt u..
who ask u are the 2nd ppl who confess to me at april fool in my life..
sorry la...i really dont want...not the time nw..
hmn...you will find a better one..
friendship forever!!!

31/3/2009
tomoro is April fool..such a meaningful day for me.
i still remember u, cheap pig..
whr u??uk??u are the one who come into my mind..
haha..never forget the memories you give me since my form 4 april fool.
i think no one will confess on april fool and keep ask for trust..
i trust u..but sorry..i always make u sad..
although there are many time and many years you always come to me
walk with me every evening, come to find me before and after your tuision class..all is good and sweet memory for me..thks..

whr u?i miss u so much..hope u been well in apart of the world.
i have tried to contact you, but i duno whr to find u..
hope you remember our friendship.
anyway, if u read this, just give me a reply..
friendship 4ever..

Friday, March 27, 2009

mid nite!!

i feel tired, but i dont allow myself sleep..
watching a korea drama..
our frenship still there?
frenship sometime is easy to be broke..
but i will stand on my position and continue my love provider..
lol..my fren...dun upset..i will always here for you..
no matter how upset you are..
why i dont feel to sleep?
pimples keep come to me this few days..

dont know why i force myself look at the computer
writing this blog become a daily work for me already.
everyday i feel alot different people different stuff..
and i want overcome my weakness in my life..
why suddenly mention my weaknessess?
haha..because i want to protect people around me..
lol..is time to continue my korea drama..hohoho!!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

i have a bad morning!!

heavy rain...this morning
i was wet when i reach college
my mood just like the rain
i cried..and i hide

i receive a called from my aunt..about my sister again..
i reali duno wat can i do
but i cant run away from this
i need help, someone encourage me
help me out from this pressure

i think i was change as my aunt said..become a egotism,m i?
i have no idea,i change till i din realize
i feel upset..i wana cry but i dun have a shoulder..
i have to be strong..dun cry anymore..
and i have to change my attitude..i shud care more about ppl around me
dun hurt ppl..i might not worth for a heart's coming..
but i will give my heart to ppl..
i shudnt live alone..this make me lost myself..
i need a roomate..a roomate who can listen to me
and we can share everything,like shuqinzz, my best fren.
but she nw at kampar..==

but i think i can find a roomate next year..
shud be fun..like when i was secondary..
contract will stop at sept..but i have no idea what goin to happen..
so dun wori about it 1st..after blog it ..i feel better liao..
i hope i can face everything easily..
i think mayb i shud pray more with my heart.
if not, why problem awes happen?haha..

Monday, March 23, 2009

love is strong enough to make dream come true

The reader..i wrote this after i finished this mv..
he is strong..in mind..in life..in everything..but her..
he will do everything for the gal..
he read the stories for her,record it..
although this action not a big deal..
but it come out with love..
he complete everything with love..
sometime, you might lie or hurt your love..
but you do not need to buy a gift to apologize,
what you need is just a word 'sorry'..said it with your heart

she will feel it..and this is the most touch in the world.
whatever you spoke, please spoke with your heart..
love is simple and blind!
no one is wrong in love, no one is strong in love,
because love come with two people
if you are alone, u will never feel love..
love must at least two..better don more than two..
is a bit complicated..haha..
hope you are in love..

Saturday, March 21, 2009

hey! problem stay away from me!!

today i spend whole day with my coursemate for gbc..
but i cant concentrate, bcz of my family members..
i receive alot called from them,
i reali out of mind.. duno what can i do on it?
problem keep come to me..luckily i'm single nw..
if nt, my bf sure veri charm..

i duno wat to do with my family members,
i feel apologize to my dear coursemate..
he let me pinch..haha...so sori..
but i have no choice..they give me too much pressure adi.
whole day..even i come back at nite..
my dear aunt still give me the called to ask me how?
i adi know she will call, but too late, i tot she will call early..
my uncle dont dare bring me to jb,
he reali scare of me, when i angry ( i think)
i'm not the eldest..
but i have to bear all the responsibility.
sometime i wan to disappear like no body business,
but i know i cant..
izzit everyone have same problem as me??
mayb yea, i think no one will like problem..

i'm nt fierce, but i like o scare ppl..
if i reali angry, no one dare to close to me...
lolzzzzz...
emo-ing for whole day==

Friday, March 20, 2009

Real Escape!!

she run away!!
why she did it?

how come she do that?

i want to..but i'm just a nervouse.
if can, i will do the same thing ..
but its reali unbearable..why she make everyone worries?
its not right..she cant do that..
she will regret..

my holiday...just worries about her..
i try to dont care her..but i cant..
why i worries to ppl who not worth for me..
just bcz of her status?one of my family..
u will need to come back..i will make you regret with your attitude..
you dare to do so, u must able to afford..

Friday, March 13, 2009

why so complicated?

OM..!!!why things happened non-stop?

how to make a ppl feel he/she is being concern by everyone?
freedom awes giving to them,but the result is "you all dun ever care about me"...how?what can i do?

nothing can be solve in one moment.
things happened everyone single moment.
why cant you be mature abit..if u reali wan to.
dun just go away without a message.
we care bout you..dont u understand?why??

dont be childish anymore.it doesnt help u to prove u mature enuf.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Marley & Me

tomoro i will go meet Marley again..
i love Marley...he is honest and touch..
he will stick with you no matter u r stupid/smart, rich/poor..
he will give u a good and sweet memory..
is good to have you,Marley..

when you leaves, that the time know how important u r..
so touch for Marley & Me..

everyone dont simply throw away your pet..
dont scold them..bcz they are perfect,and no one can replace..
Marley..u so cute..

Saturday, March 7, 2009

time management is important!!

i missed the bus to back my hometown..
i woke up late,but i woke up at 10am..my bus is 12pm.
izzit serendipity that i should stay at kl this weekend?
i wasted my money, the ticket cost me rm26.
i can do alot of thing with this money.

today, my fren joint the modelling audition,
she finally quit..but she said she goin to join astro singing competition..
i support u..gambateh..

a silly things happen..heavy raining at timesquare..
normally is ppl get to fall down..but today my ice cream fall down..
sad lol..is world class chocolate leh!!
i only have half..huhu..poor ice cream..

i want add my friend in my blog..but i duno how to do ?
can someone help me?i reali idiot with this kind of things.
help me help me..

Monday, March 2, 2009

a different day!

today is a different day for me.
i having a different feeling in my heart,
izzit maybe i found out that i shouldnt rely on someone too much?
i feel free..so much of freedom in my heart.
sometime i will feel upset when i imagine the pic that u with another gal,
but today i didnt feel upset anymore,i think i starting to accept everything happened in my life already. i dont know is good o bad.
but for me, this is a new experience.
something changing, something come in my life,something leaves me without notice. everything keep moving without waiting for me.
therefore, i dont think i should waiting and waste my life.

this is a good feeling..it make me feel flying..hehe..
i should have a new life, without u, i still can live out my own life.
i dont know why we break?mayb this will always remind me when someone come after me, i think i'm not good enough for u,bcz no one is perfect.i hope i can help those gals who had the same problem with me..
cheer up!!we should live in wonderful!!
gals who have her own style is worth to get a MR.Right's love.

why i attract you b4?why u give up in the end?
why you dont appreciate me?why i not good enough?
why i want to live in bad bcz of u?
will you break my heart?
although not directly hurt me..

alot of 'why?' in my mind..
but i already starting to accept question without answer..
love is like that..not neccessary must get each other.
if you really love someone, happiness is what you want to give.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

OMG!i didnt step out from my room for wholeday!!

OMG!!
what's going on with me?
tired?lazy?boring?
ahhhh!!
i chat with a lovely gal today,
i found tat everyone who have same problem,
probably will group together.
hehe!!is good o bad leh?
i have no idea!she was so brave, same with another gal.
seems i reali a nervouse,not matter how strong i m.
i will probably a weaker in relationship..

gals,cheer up!!
dont easy to give up!!
we can make them understand our love to them and touch their heart.
gambateh!bcz u all have do the best!!not like me,a loser.
i hope to see u both can live happily.
Gogogo!!trust what u want and go to get!!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

i need to be brave!!

i read a gal's blogs who face almoz same problem with me..
but she was so brave and strong..
for me, i juz a nervouse and ego in love..

on friday, i went to his house,
everything are same..except him..
i sense his difference..never think i will feel he is secretive.
but nt secretive to me, jz can sense..he more secretive than before..
i duno how to treat him,bcz i still like him so much..
before i meet with him, i was so panic ..haih..
he awes make feel heart attack..
huhu...why i will be like this??
i almoz going gg everytime i wan to meet him..

and his sister told me, he might go study abroad next year..
:( i duno wat can i do for him??
i feel nervouse to give special for him..
like this coming valentine, i hope to prepare him a gift.
but when i went there, i was panic and keep pinch my fren..
heart attack..i duno shud i do tat for him..
i jz wan to let him know i like him so much..
i dun wan be nervouse anymore..
but how??

Sunday, January 18, 2009

normal life

could i have a normal life?
i awes messed up everything in peace..
why??why i make myself in trouble?
haih...zzz..my fren oso won care me liao..
bcz they keep protect me, but i keep make myself in trouble..

dis few day stay at fren hs..i found tat..i nid a home..
huhu..homeless people like me, awes involve in trouble..
i miss my warm family..if i can stay wif my family den i will less in trouble.
fren and human remember appreciate ur family..bcz they make u stay in a limited..
then u won get into trouble..

Monday, January 5, 2009

crab island

today i went to crab island...
i eat alot seafood..
and today is han yin celeb birthday at yuan steambot.
i ate steambot for two days adi..
i wil gg soon..

i hope evrything bcome normal..i borrow the stupid fellow book..
den i nt dare to return to him, haih...so charm..
hope everything can b normal and go back to the previouse..
i dunwan complicated rs and life..
i awes messed up..nw i make my self in trouble!!
wat can i do?huhu..rs reali complicated..fren oso can be complicated..
i jz wan b normal and peace in my life...